Jenna Jameson for Governor

Let me clear up the last post for you people that are a little slow. IE, a certain law student that will remain nameless. Janet Napolitano is a self righteous bitch that should go the way of Gray Davis. Which brings me to my next point.

What celebrity should replace J. No.? While discussing the general disarray of the state in which i reside, as well as the joke that considers herself a governor, with a friend who shall remain nameless *cough* Kenny *cough* we came up with a brillant plan. Jenna Jameson. (Link not for everyone, esspecially mormons) Yes thats the same girl that has sucked and fucked her way into our hearts years ago. She resides in Scottsdale, a burb of Phoenix.

Just picture it now, her slogan could be a pole at every press conference. She could speak her opinion, which undoubtedly would be irrelevant because everyone would just be staring at her chest since she doesnt own a piece of clothing with a V neck that starts above the navel. But undoubtly some femist would be in the reporter pool and have to ask her a tough question, something along the lines of what is 2+1. While she would undoubtly say "Its alot of fun", the feminazi would persist to ask questions. At which point Jenna would just walk over to the pole and proceed to dance for all she is worth. But as i am sure you know this would upset the female population of AZ, but i mean seriously, after JNo goes and Jenna is in I garuntee at least 15% increase in the male population of AZ. Plus, has a womans vote ever really counted? I mean seriously the only reason they are allowed to vote is probably because congress was tired of hearing their wives nag about it and passed the law letting them vote. Knowing full well at any point men could trump their total votes at any moment.

Besides a pole at every press conference, Jenna would host press conferences, foreign dignitaries, the bush twins, and legislation hearings at one of the 2 strip clubs she owns. Picture beautiful naked women dancing behind her while she taking about the pressing matters. Such as Scottsdale trying to ban strip clubs.

So in closing i would like to say one last thing. Out with JNO, in with J.J.

State of Emergency....Everybody to get from Streets

Alright well this seems to be the thing to do if you are a Nye. And since there is a discussion as who belongs to what name. I decided to lay the smack down. Eat it bitches.

Now to more pressing matters. As you sit and wonder first of all why i am doing this, i couldnt really tell you that. Secondly allow me to explain the aptly named State of Emergency blog. There is what the emergency is, danger Will Robinson. Yes i realize its a link to the Cardinals home page and yes i realize there is more pressing matters in the state of AZ, but let me justify this. Anyone who knows me knows i am a huge football fan. Secondly how excited can you be about a team that you root against every sunday for 17 straight weeks. They are in a shitty division, i mean come on, NFC West? Oh but the Seahawks, well i tell you what, the Seahawks wouldnt have made it to the superbowl if someone didnt hand them a 6-0 start from the division schedule.

Moving along to crisis number 2 in my fair state. The Diamondbacks are not the worst team in the league, but they are damn close. Granted they finished 2nd in the NL west last year. But big whoop, yeah thats what i said, so what, wanna fight about it? As far as i know the only reason they even had a crowd at the world series a few years ago was largely due to the fact that everyone just wanted to see the Yankees lose.

As for the Suns, i dont much mind them. Not because they are actually the one sounds sports team besides the Coyotes (who arent even that good) but because they put on a high energy show even with Amare Stoudemire out for the season. They have the Canadian Crusader throwing out dimes like he is sponsoring the March of Dimes. Plus the bonus is when they self destruct as a team it is a general is manteling like something you would see if Coach Marino actually let the team wrestle the Our Ladies of Perpetual Sorrow girls wrestling team.

Now onto two press political issues in the state of AZ. First let me say that Janet Napolitano is a crazy crazy bitch. Allow me to elaborate, First of she is coming up for reelection and sees that there is not a snowballs chance in hell (pretty sure its the first week of July) that she is going to be reelected. So what does she try to do? Come guess. You'll never get it. She tries to get a law passed saying that if the State of Arizona has declared a State of Emergency that she can not be asked to leave office and or voted out. She would be in office till the situation is solved. The set on that bitch must be enormous to try something like that. And let me tell why. The lovely State of Arizona, which mind you hasnt had a drop of rain for 131 days and counting now, has declared a State of Emergency due to the growing numbers of illegals coming into this country through the AZ, Mexico border. Dont worry, we arent alone, New Mexico and California have done the same thing. But there is the problem, that bitch Napolitano wants to stay in office and is using this as a crutch, when personally i think its her fault for not doing something to try and stop this in the first place.

Well thats it for now, I promise the rest of the posts will be more like hearted, but i just wanted to get that out there.

In closing i would like to say

How you like meow?